The Great Communicator Vol 4: The Man
The Great Communicator Vol 4: The Man
Edited compilation of speeches made by Ronald Reagan during his Presidency. All contain some type of joke or funny story, showing his sense of humor.
The Great Communicator Vol 4: The Man
April 15, 1985. Excerpt from Reception honoring MILTON PITTS' 20 years of service as the President's Barber; Ronald Reagan tells long anecdote about a customer talking to his barber about a trip he's taking to Rome; good punch line. "I'm going to tell a story that Milt knows, and he likes it very much because it's about another barber..." edit "And one day, there was one of the regular customers in there with his regular fellow, and told him to really, you know, do it up right because he and his wife were taking a trip to Europe. And the conversation that followed then: Question from the man that was doing the cutting, and he said, ``Well, where are you going?'' And he said, ``Rome.'' ``Oh?'' He said, ``Yeah. We're going to see all the monuments and all the historic things and the Colosseum and all of that.'' ``Nah,'' he says, ``you won't like it. A lot of those things aren't around, or you can't find them, and there's nobody to show them to you.'' He says, ``What line are you flying?'' He says, ``We're not. We're taking a ship. We're sailing.'' ``Oh,'' he says, ``that's a big mistake. The food is lousy. It isn't like you think it's going to be at all. You're going to be sick and tired and bored to death before you get halfway there.'' Well, he went on that way about everything. And finally, sitting in the chair, he said, ``And we've got an arrangement already. We're going to have an audience with the Pope.'' ``Oh,'' he says, ``you think you're going to see the Pope.'' He says, ``You'll probably be in a line -- 20,000 people. If you get within two blocks of him, you'll be lucky.'' And finally, getting the haircut, he said, ``Look, will you stop trying to spoil the trip. We've been looking forward to this for a long time. Now, just cut my hair and be quiet.'' And it was finished, and he went on the trip. A few weeks later, he's back and in the chair. And the first question was, ``Well, how was your trip?'' He said, ``Wonderful.'' He said, ``The boat -- it was wonderful. We almost hated to get to Rome; we had so much fun on the ship. And the food was great, like the best restaurants you could ever imagine.'' And he said, ``We saw everything in Rome, all the history of Rome. It was really wonderful. We saw all those things, and we had an audience with the Pope. Twenty minutes he gave us.'' And he said, ``When I bent down to kiss his ring, he said to me, `Where did you get the lousy haircut?''' [Laughter]
The Great Communicator Vol 4: The Man
March 8, 1983. Remarks at the Annual Convention of the National Association of Evangelicals in Orlando, Florida. Ronald Reagan tells joke about the first politician to ever make it past Heaven's Gate. "An evangelical minister and a politician arrived at Heaven's gate one day together. And St. Peter, after doing all the necessary formalities, took them in hand to show them where their quarters would be. And he took them to a small, single room with a bed, a chair, and a table and said this was for the clergyman. And the politician was a little worried about what might be in store for him. And he couldn't believe it then when St. Peter stopped in front of a beautiful mansion with lovely grounds, many servants, and told him that these would be his quarters. And he couldn't help but ask, he said, ``But wait, how -- there's something wrong -- how do I get this mansion while that good and holy man only gets a single room?'' And St. Peter said, ``You have to understand how things are up here. We've got thousands and thousands of clergy. You're the first politician who ever made it.'' [Laughter]